You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Drunk is a universal language darling
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
