i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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