Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
True college students do jello shots in the library
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
