My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
