Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
