I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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