Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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