K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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