So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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