I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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