I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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