i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
