I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
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I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
why is half of my head shaved?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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