I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
