Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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