She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
