I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
