Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
We got so high we made milksteak
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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