Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
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As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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