he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
This house was built for laser tag.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
