so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I understand Curling. That high.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
