she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
