D3 body, D1 cock
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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