did you get engaged???
I can tuck mytits in my pants
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
