In the future we'll all be gay
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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