everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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