I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
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