also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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