Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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