If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Randomize
