Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
