I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
