found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
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Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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