i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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