What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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