halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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