and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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