So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
