Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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