he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
My vagina just clenched in fear
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
