Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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