Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize