Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
