someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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