just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
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