I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
