I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
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Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
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by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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