I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
