I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
