i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
