Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
