she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
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my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
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I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!