so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.