the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.