i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
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No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT