just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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