My hand turned me down
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
