how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
