Will you blow on my dice?
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
and she was petting her beer can
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
