i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
How does it feel to date your dad?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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