Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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