He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
