I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
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