That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
