Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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