u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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