Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
