New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
