I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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