we're chasing vodka with high fives
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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