she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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